Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Getting Old

I turned 37 this past weekend, but other than that things are about the same with me. Some decent days with my health, and some not so decent days. Slowly I think I'm coming to a much better emotional place with all of this. I obviously would still love to feel 100% healthy and strong, and ideally I would love to feel this sooner rather than later, but I have also come to a place of better acceptance about the whole thing. I may never again in my life feel as healthy and strong as I did 2 or 3 years ago (or even just a year ago), but I know that I'm gradually feeling better, and I find myself everyday feeling very fortunate to have regained the health that I have. In August, September, October, and most of November I would have given anything to have just one day in which I felt as good as I do today. Of course, now today I want more. I want to feel this much healthier again. I've very aware though that I might need to wait another 4 or 5 months for this to occur. If there's been one consistent thing in all of this it's that my condition never seems to improve significantly from day to day, but rather from week to week, or month to month. At some point I expect to feel healthy enough that I look at this slow change as a good thing. When we are feeling the way we want to feel we don't want there to be any significant change.

Total change of subject: Winter has finally come here in Boulder. We have had about 3 feet of snow in the past week, and from what I hear there may be another storm on the way next week. I've been able to tell that I'm finally (after nearly 3 years living here during the school year) feeling a little more attached to the land and the culture in this part of the world. Previously I've cared about the land in this area because I care about many of the people that live here, but I haven't had a personal emotional attachment to the land. Colorado has been in the midst of pretty severe drought for quite some time now, and it may sound harsh, but I haven't really cared one way or the other whether the drought continues or the drought ends. I still see that's it's one of those things that is beyond our control and in the larger picture doesn't really mean a whole lot, but I do recognize that these phases of dry climate are hard on life in this area. Whether it's vegetation, wildlife, or humans, pretty much every living thing will have a slightly better next several months because of the snow that's falling now. I think I now have enough attachment to this place that for the first time I take some small amount of solace in this reality.

On one more note, entry is still open for this summer's Alaska Mountain Ultrarunning Camp. The July session is essentially filled up, but there are still a few spaces left in the June 11-18th session. I know some people have been reluctant to sign up because of my health, but I do plan to definitely go forward with the camps as planned. At this point I'm fairly optimistic that I'll be able to lead most or all of the runs during the camps, as I have now begun to get out for short runs 4 or 5 days a week (I even ran a 5k race this past weekend, albeit I'm not sure I broke 40 minutes). If I improve as much in the next two months as I have in the past two then I should be able to lead all the runs with relative ease. Not to worry though, even if my health does hold me back I have some great local help lined up to lead any runs that I'm not able to take part in. Another fun way to look at it: this might be your only chance to come run with me in Alaska with the dynamic in which I'm the one that you're waiting up for :)

11 comments:

Steve Pero said...

Old, Ha! Very funny...
Hope your recovery continues, Geoff, one day at a time.

Steve, 61 years young and still trying to improve after 38 years...

eric said...

man, i've been 37 for MONTHS now... and i sure am feeling it, especially with a little one running around.

happy birthday!

and, keep getting better and better. meltzer is still winning, why not you, even if it takes a couple years to get back!!

better yet, enjoy the ride.

cheers Geoff.

Stephen Boulet said...

Hi Goeff. Good to see that you are feeling better. Here's some unsolicited advice from someone random on the internet. ;) Iodine + selenium might help with recovery from adrenal fatigue. If you are a fan of getting nutrients from food, some occasional seaweed salad + brazil nuts (just 3 a day) might be helpful for you.

John said...

Sounds like you are marching towards recovery! To those that are reading the comments that have an interest in going to the camps I would highly recommend it. The hospitality that Geoff provides coupled with the local running is stellar. Even if Geoff is unable to lead all the runs there are a whole host of local runners that head out on these things that are a blast to hang out with.

Trevor James said...

I have to say I hope that I am the one waiting for you (ok not really I want you back and healthy) but with a back injury and week after week of sickness my long run the last few weeks has been two miles. I am nervous about being ready for camp but now I seem to be feeling better so maybe you and I will be hanging out together in June in the back of the pack but either way don't wait up for me, just leave some bread crumbs. :-)See you in June!

pasi.koskinen said...

I have passed 21 years after my cancer now.
Totally over 55000 K and 49 years now.
Maybe You should not feel the same than 2-3 years ago.
I really think that when You get Your physical condition 100 % ok. after that You are really unbreakable mentally.

May God bless Your steps.

Fairbanks said...

Happy Belated B-day Geoff.

I just turned 36 two weeks ago. I had a major life changing encephalitis that knocked me on my ass for about 2 years, with lots of crazy after effects a few years ago....Now, all's good. Those were some dark days going from running 14ers to being bed bound. I had to ease myself back into long runs, but now i run faster and longer than I ever did before. I kinda feel like it made me a stronger runner. Best wishes as you recover your balance.

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Athreya said...

Missed this one! Hope you had a super birthday! I'm sort of in the same place with my running! but I guess it takes time and patience! :) Good luck in your recovery!

Cheers

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C.J. Hitz said...

Happy be-lated birthday Geoff...my wife just turned 38 today and I turn the big 4-0 in mid June. The nice thing is that I feel better now than when I was in my 20s.

Hope you continue feeling better as each day passes.